John Moran John Moran

Sleepy Joe

Sleepy Joe is oldest of the American Idols to have ever been elected! Strangely enough, he was the youngest person ever elected to the Senate. Apparently these all these years of service did not prepare him for name calling and insult lobbing.

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The Donald

The Donald was the only of the American Idols to have been divorced twice and married three times! Even more exciting, he is the only of the American Idols to have been the victim of Stone Cold Steve Austin’s signature finishing move: ‘the Stunner’.

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Bama

Bama was the first of the American Idols to be born in Hawaii, supposedly.

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Dubya

There was a time when there were whole books filled with silly things that Dubya said, the good ol’ days.

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Slick Willie

Slick Willie is most known for defining ‘sexual relations’.

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Poppy

Poppy is remembered for bringing a dedication to ‘traditional American values’ and a determination to make the United States “a kinder and gentler nation” in the face of a dramatically changing world. 😂

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Dutch

Dutch was known for being a ‘famous’ actor before becoming one of the American Idols.

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Jimmy

Jimmy had a very low approval rating during his time as on of the American Idols because he went against the standards of the time, walking to his inauguration and putting solar panels on the White House… fucking hippie.

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Mr. Nice Guy

Mr. Nice Guy was the only of the American Idols to serve as both one of the American Idols and one of the Vice American Idols without having been elected to either position.

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Tricky Dick

Tricky Dick is most known for being the second of the American Idols to have been the subject of a feature film by Oliver Stone…

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Bullshit Johnson

Despite being remembered unfavorably, Bullshit Johnson’s civil rights legacy was shaped by the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the Voting Rights Act of 1965, and the Civil Rights Act of 1968.

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Jack

Jack is remembered as being the first of the American Idols to have been the subject of a feature film made by Oliver Stone.

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IKE

Ike’s campaign, and his interactions with troops at the front lines of the war in December 1952 heavily influenced his push for an end to that war that took place between World War II and the Vietnam War.

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Give ‘Em Hell Harry

Give ‘Em Hell Harry initiated a program for domestic reform, subsequently it is his program on Japanese reform that had the most impact.

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FDR

FDR was the only of the American Idols to have been elected to four terms.

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Chief

Chief is the only of the American Idols to have a dam and a vacuum named after him!

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Silent Cal

Silent Cal is the least known and acknowledged of all the American Idols.

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Wobbly Warren G

Wobbly Warren G was the first of the American Idols to have a golf course named after him. Wobbly Warren Park opened in 1925 and is located in San Francisco, California

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Woody

Woody led the United States into the first World War, later becoming the leading architect of the League of Nations. His progressive stance on foreign policy came to be known as Woodianism.

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Big Lub

Big Lub was the last of the American Idols to keep a cow at the White House to provide fresh milk.

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Ted ‘Theodore’ Roosevelt

Ted ‘Theodore’ Roosevelt is the only on of the American Idols to have a toy named after himself. He is also one most known for his nomenclatural impact on of the greatest rock band of all time, Wyld Stallyns.

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Idol of Ohio

The Idol of Ohio was the first of the American Idols to have ridden in an automobile, he is also known as the other one that was assassinated.

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Little Benny

Little Benny was the great grandson of another one of the American Idols, Tippecanoe!

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Uncle Jumbo

Uncle Jumbo is the only of the American Idols to have held two non-consecutive terms, hopefully remaining unique for decades to come!

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Walrus

Walrus was the first of the American Idols to enact a general Federal immigration laws, approving a measure in 1882 excluding paupers, criminals, and lunatics…

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Preacher

Preacher grew up in poverty and was the last of the American Idols to be born in a ‘log cabin’, later converting it to a tourist attraction and casino.

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His Fraudulency

His Fraudulency was unusually well educated for one of the American Idols, although a number of previous Idols were lawyers, he was the first to actually graduate law school.

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Unconditional Surrender Grant

Historians rate Unconditional Surrender Grant’s term as one of the American Idols near the bottom, mainly because he sent federal troops to the South to enforce civil rights legislation and protect African Americans from civil and political violence.

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Tennessee Tailor

Tennessee Tailor is known for being appointed by God to become one of the American Idols after Honest Abe, swearing he had nothing to do with it.

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Honest Abe

Honest Abe was the tallest of the American Idols, that is until that fateful night at the Ford Theater.

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Nancy

Nancy was and is until this day, the only of the American Idols to remain unmarried… Not to be confused with being married and unmarried and married again several times.

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Handsome Frank

At 47, Handsome Frank was the youngest man to become one of the American Idols of the time.

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Friendly Fillmore

Friendly Fillmore is ranked as one of the worst of the American Idols, and even more surprising, the least memorable.

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Young Hickory

Young Hickory was one of the American Idols who believed in Manifest Destiny, declaring that the United States was divinely ordained to expand where ever we see fit. Oh how times have changed!

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His Accidency

His Accidency was the oldest of the American Idols of his time, clocking in at only 67 years old! Can you imagine?

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Tippecanoe

Tippecanoe served the shortest term as one of the American Idols, unlike Little Jemmy, who was known as the shortest.

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Little Magician

Little Magician is most remembered for his unique hair style, that and the economic Panic of 1873.

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King Andrew

King Andrew is on of the few American Idols whose face is printed on currency, ironically he vehemently disapproved of paper money opting instead for the stolen lands of Native Americans.

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Quincy

Quincy was the son of one of the first American Idols, His Rotundity. Although nepotism may have helped his achievements, he is still remembered as Anthony Hopkins.

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Good Feelings

His Rotundity and Mad Tom weren’t the only of the American Idols to die on the 4th of July, so did Good Feelings…Only no one really cares!

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Little Jemmy

Little Jemmy weighs in as the smallest of the American Idols… though his hands were proportionate to his tiny stature.

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Mad Tom

Mad Tom, one of the original American Idols, penned the phrase “all men are created equal”, even owning over 600 of them!

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Our Father

Our Father was the first of the American Idols. All idols that followed were modeled after him, except one…

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